The Independent Parent

Too early to choose options?

Indeparent — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 05:22:12 +0000

My daughters school has pulled a fast one as far as I’m concerned. Instead of students having two years to do KS4 – or what I know as O-levels, she’s going to have three.

Reasons I think this is wrong:

1. She has now been made to give up certain subjects – in her case these include Art and Music – with less than two years experience of them as academic interests. This is TOO EARLY for her to be making these restricting decisions.

2. She will enter sixth form on a slow-track, having had three years to complete studies that were only designed to take two. The leap in ability and dedication required for sixth form will hit her like a juggernaut.

Seriously considering moving schools. But she begs me not to.

Dilemma.

Single parents of only children

Indeparent — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 05:21:47 +0000

Reading Rachel Sarah’s post today reminded me of the horrible time I went through last year when I realised the chances of me having a second biological child are probably zero. It seems such a shame that my lovely caring daughter won’t get the chance to be a big sister.

I was the youngest of four, with one child disabled, and I learnt so much from the sharing and the fighting.

I make sure she spends a lot of time with her cousins, and they do have a lovely relationship, but, it’s not the same, is it?

Early Morning

Indeparent — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 04:12:24 +0000

Sometimes, a ridiculously early hour in the morning is the only time I get to think, and what I’m thinking right now is there must be a better way of getting some quiet time than this. My daughter has crept into my bed in the night and is snoring gently and though I love her muzzy sleepiness, it doesn’t help me ignore the noise. I have not the heart to kick her out. Yet her bed with it’s cold tumbled mess of cuddlies is not too inviting. So here I am, typing instead. I guess the question is . . . how come I have a double-bed anyway?

Happiness anticipated

Indeparent — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 22:52:25 +0000

I have read in the press lately what I have long known to be true for myself, that the anticipation of something that makes you happy is as good as the actual event. So these are my reasons for booking a holiday as long in advance as I can:

I get the early booking discount.
I get first dibs on the date before my X gets his bid in.
I can motivate myself with “you’re getting fit for the holiday” (it works sometimes) for as long as possible.
I get full value for money from the “anticipation of happiness” that comes free with every purchase, including for me the anticipation of creating some more wonderful shared memories to replace the redundant ones that it still hurts sometimes to think about.

Holidays for small (but perfectly formed) families

Indeparent — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 22:44:47 +0000

I love The Adventure Company holidays and have booked again this year. Unlike those where they put your child in a kids club (which has its place if you are in need of a rest, it just doesn’t suit me), the Adventure Company provides activities and entertainment for you to do together. The most relaxing thing about a holiday with kids, for me, is having everything decided for you, laid out, planned and organised. Not having to make decisions comes top of the luxury list for me, and being fed, watered and entertained at regular intervals is my idea of heaven, wherever we end up.

As ever I have choosen the cheapest time to go, but NOT one of their single parents departures. I am so over the midnight gin and whispers. There’s a point at which you realise you’re not a “single parent” – you’re a “small family” or an “independent parent”, and that’s worth celebrating.

And besides, on holiday with two parent families, we will always witness at least one holiday row between spouses, which leads my daughter and I to smugly appreciate our relatively uncomplicated relationship.